Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Recent Posts

I haven't been able to keep up with recent entries so well lately, so I made this google gadget that enables anyone to browse the past few entries, five at a time. You can add it to your own iGoogle homepage if you have one of those, which you do if you have gmail, or you can just bookmark the permalink to this post.



The Google Reader can do the same thing and can do it for all of your blogs. If hit the "show all" button and switch to list view, you can scroll through the titles in reverse chronological order. But there's so much other shit going on that it gets kind of slow.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Why I Started This

The story of the true-life heroism of Charlie Sheen is inspiring the way Skippy tells it. It also reminds me of one of my favorite Skippystalin quotes one of the reasons I started this archive:

"...Frankly, blaming Charlie for straying is like blaming a Doberman for licking his balls. By that I mean, that you get to feel all morally superior for it, but it doesn't change the fact that you'd do the same thing if you could. "

From this neglected classic from the Summer of '05.

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Sidebar

I've put the best finds from my archive browsing up on the sidebar here. My goal is that this sidebar should serve as my vote for what Skippy ought to consider for his list. It should also be the best of what's not listed elsewhere. I may slip at times, but that's the target.

Money Quote of the Day

IS JESUS A PUSSY?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Money Quote of the Day

"...But sometimes, suicide is more than just a tragedy. Sometimes suicide can be fucking hilarious! "
from here

Monday, March 10, 2008

Technical notes

This archive has some work that needs to be done. It will be a while before I get to it, but I will get there. One thing is to get a static archive so that the old posts get indexed and come up in a blog search. The money quotes are only soundbytes, but they are some of the best soundbytes you'll find anywhere and if they're coming up in searches, the world will be a better place.

One important thing. As a best-of list, I don't think anything here is quite as good as Skippy's own sidebar. On the other hand, I haven't really looked at any of my lists and compared them side-by-side with the original sidebar. Some of them might be even better.

This site is mostly good for after you have read everything on the sidebar and need more, or when you're trying to find that one from way back whenever or something.

Anyway, stay tuned. There will be more Skippy goodness for all the thousands of readers who have come to rely on Tards Anonymous for their Skippy archiving needs.

Money Quote of the Day

Most of [my] time is spent masturbating and attempting to drink myself into a coma. I live to get fucked up. I view my liver as George Bush views al-Qaeda, something to be feared and destroyed.

from here

Another lost classic

Another one to consider for the Skippy's best list:

Money Quote:

"Nothing says, "You have a real purty mouth" quite like five figures. Several happy marriages are built on that. "

From here

And, for a more serious, but also funny, reminder of why all of us should get all of our news from Skippystalin,
here's his take on something that happened when somebody named Kerry was running
. It's a good read. Sometimes I think I should learn more about our electoral system, but then I'm reminded that we have Canadians to do that shit for us.

Friday, March 7, 2008

Money Quote of the Day

"...And THAT'S what rock music should be about! It was never designed to be a forum for half-witted high school drop-outs to opine about U.S foreign policy in Central America. It was designed for dumb guys with unfortunate haircuts to bang pretty, if vapid, girls. Preferably girls considerably younger than themselves. "

from here

Thursday, March 6, 2008

More Google search news

I should preface this with the warning that the two posts linked to in this post are good, but not quite as good as the ones on Skippy's sidebar. The words "war with my liver and penis" really stuck with me, but the rest of that post, while good, doesn't rise to level of Mind Your Own Mongoloid. The Dr. Kevin White story, on the other hand, while no Long Dong of the Law has real potential as a classic. Now back to the beginning of the story:

Okay, I found that Google's blogsearch. And I looked up "war with my liver and penis"--the search terms that inspired me to start this retarded archive, and the post came up. It was the one I started looking for a long time ago and started thinking how the world needs access to what's really important on the internet.

Being able to find it on blogsearch led me to wonder if there's really a need for this archive. Then I searched "bailing wire". Only one result came back. It is the one I was hoping for--the one that tells the story of what Skippy did to get fired from a previous job, and the adventures of Dr. Kevin White. But the same search terms on the folder in my hard drive where I keep all my stash of the old posts brings up 6 items. So I'm definitely going to keep this around for some time yet for the sake of completeness. Google's index is good, but it has some fucked up priorities.

Later, when I tried to click on the first post in blogsearch, it told me "blog not found", so they have some bugs in blogsearch. The URL that came up for that post was not the right one, which I found by looking back through my own archives here. So there definitely is still a need for this site.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Lost Classics

Skippy has called for all of us to recommend posts that would make good sidebar additions. I have been late in answering. But, I just found something that isn't on the sidebar and that I think is a neglected classic that all of you should read.

The story of that really hot teacher who got busted for doing it with students. Skippy's comments reflect exactly the kind of things I was saying when that event was in the news, only he says it a lot better. It's best when you're initially impressed with a blog post or essay, to let it sit for a while, then read it again before you put your name next to a claim that it really deserves a place alongside the immortal words that have already stood the test of time like My Own Personal Jesus, People vs. Paris Hilton, or Long Dong of the Law. But this one belongs on the list of things to at least consider as candidates for that list.

Oh and it turns out that shit I said in Skippy's comments about Google indexing was all wrong. It looks like Google now doesn't include blogs in a regular Google search. If you search 'Skippystalin' in Google, Enjoy Every Sandwich doesn't come up. You get mentions of him on other blogs, ones that don't have blogspot in their URLs, and you also get one sandwich-shop post--not sure why--but not what I would expect. I think this is a recent change, because I'm pretty sure Google search results weren't like this the last time I searched on Skippy.

They haven't excluded blogs from the Google index. If you search "obama site:enjoyeverysandwich.blogspot.com" then you'll get Skippy posts with the word "obama" in them. That's a neat trick I learned a while back that really comes in handy if you're like me and you find yourself thinking back to blog posts you read a couple of years ago and wanting to read them again. You put your search term(s), then "site:" followed by the non-www parts of the url of the site you want to search. But you can do that, and get results from a specific blog. Or you can put "site:blogspot.com" to get results from blogspot blogs in general. I think they also have a blog search feature out there somewhere, but I couldn't find it right away and didn't bother to actually look.

If you just search "skippystalin" some of his comments will come up because the comments are hosted by haloscan which doesn't have the word "blog" in the URL.

This is interesting because blogger is Google. There's probably some blogger out there putting new dents in his crash helmet and spilling his drool cup over this screaming something about his dissent being stifled or something. But it makes sense. Most people think of bloggers as drooling crash-helmeted retards only because they haven't read enough blogs to know that most bloggers make retards look like Einstein. Google is just recognizing the fact that a whole lot of moronic bullshit will come up if they return results from every blog with the regular search. Their search engine is their flagship product. On the other hand, I get all of my news from Skippystalin.

The point of all this was that what I said about adding shit to the sidebar getting it indexed on Google was probably right, but that won't cause it to come up in a normal Google search anymore. In order for Skippy's posts to come up in a normal Google search, they will have to be someplace that doesn't have "blogspot" in the url. For that to happen, Skippy will have to register a domain name, or find somebody who has one and copy all the posts to that place with a link on the main page that leads to a page from which you can find links to copys of all the rest of them at that same URL. I know that Skippy probably doesn't want anybody to be able to whois search his actual info and I wouldn't either. But Hosting Matters has a deal where you can have their company name and address registered as the owner of the URL and that will show up when someone does a whois search on it and that is all the info anybody without a warrant will get out of them.

There could be some value in having all of Skippy's old posts indexed by Google in a place where they show up in regular Google searches. More people googling their way into Skippy readership will increase the chance of Conan O'Brien, John Stewart, or the Onion hiring him as a writer which should have happened years ago. Hopefully a trade war between us and Canada doesn't get in the way of that. I really hope both Obama and Hilary are both lying about their plans to start such a thing.